Friday Q & A -- being enough

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I kind of feel like I need to follow up on this whole "being enough" stuff because I never put in my personal theory of the most important measurement for whether we are "enough" or not. (Seeking that answer from God.) I get these kinds of questions about what is "enough" quite a lot and it makes me realize that it is a heavy weight, especially among women so I wanted to touch on it just a bit more. I certainly don't have the answers, but something I've sure thought about a LOT in my journey to be "enough."

Someone sent me this funny poem a while ago (which really makes light of a lot of "Mormon" things but I think most of us women can relate):


The Girl in a Whirl
by ‘Dr. Sue’
(a.k.a. Vickie Gunther)

Look at me, look at me, look at me now!

You could do what I do

If you only knew how.



I study the scriptures one hour each day;

I bake,

I upholster,

I scrub,

and I pray.



I always keep all the commandments completely;

I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.


I help in their classrooms!

I sew all they wear!

I drive them to practice!

I cut all their hair!



I memorize names of the General Authorities;

I focus on things to be done by priorities.



I play the piano!

I bless with my talents!

My toilets all sparkle!

My checkbooks all balance!



Each week every child gets a one-on-one date;

I attend all my meetings (on time! Never late!)



I’m taking a class on the teachings of Paul,

But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all …

I track my bad habits ‘til each is abolished;

Our t-shirts are ironed!

My toenails are polished!



Our family home evenings are always delightful;

The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.



I do genealogy faithfully, too.

It’s easy to do all the things that I do!



I rise each day early, refreshed and awake;

I know all the names of each youth in my stake!

I read to my children!

I help all my neighbors!

I bless the community, too, with my labors.



I exercise and I cook menus gourmet;

My visiting teaching is done the first day!

(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.

It’s the least I can do for my cherished ward sisters.)



I chart resolutions and check off each goal;

I seek each “lost lamb” on my Primary roll.



I can home-grown produce each summer and fall.

But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all …



I write in my journal!

I sing in the choir!

Each day, I write “thank you’s” to those I admire.



My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!

My kids get straight A’s!

And their bedrooms are clean!



I have a home business to help make some money;


I always look beautifully groomed for my honey.



I go to the temple at least once a week;

I change the car’s tires!

I fix the sink’s leak!



I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread;

I have all our meals planned out six months ahead.



I make sure I rotate our two-years’ supply;

My shopping for Christmas is done by July!



These things are not hard;

It’s good if you do them;

You can if you try!

Just set goals and pursue them!



It’s easy to do all the things that I do!

If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too!

It’s easy!” she said …


… and then she dropped dead.

I just think that is a funny little clip of how much we THINK we can do. Because we think others around us are doing it too. And if they can, some silly, crazy part of our mind tells us we should be able to too.

But the truth is, we can't do it all. No one can. Sure, we may be really good at a couple things we are trying to perfect and work on, but inevitably other things fall through the cracks while we're busily working diligently on our new "goals." And they're all GOOD things. They are all worthy of our time.

We have to prayerfully figure out what we want to prioritize. Because life is a giant game of balance and if we try to prioritize everything, then we will fail miserably. The tricky thing is that no one can come in and say, "Ok, this is what you need to cut out. This part is not working," believe me, I've tried. I've tried to ask Dave, church leaders, friends, etc. What can I cut out? How can I figure out how to not be so tired anymore? How can I give enough of myself to those around me?

But when it comes down to it, we have to figure the answers to those questions with help from Above, and then stick to our guns, and not feel guilty about letting some things go.

It was one of the toughest things ever to give up my photography business (more about that here). I felt ungrateful for what had sort of fallen in my lap. And now where we live and Young Women and all that goes into that. I miss those girls. And there are little daily gives and takes that cause a continual deliberation in my mind. Little things: "If I go don't finish that book, I will feel silly going to book club for the third month in a row without reading the book. But if I read that book, I'll miss out on reading the one Max needs to read this month and I know he could use some help getting motivated." Hundreds of those little things every single day.

But when it comes down to it sometimes you have to choose the "best" things over the "good" things. And to me, the best thing is my family and my faith. Through prayerful consideration I came to the answers of what needs to come first right now. (And when I say "prayerful consideration" that makes it sound all easy-peasy, which as we all know, it is not. It is agonizing.)

At some point we need to step back and evaluate life. When we do, sometimes we realize the direction we are going isn't really what we want and we can make adjustments. Sometimes small ones. Other times drastic ones.

But if we don't take out time enough to think and ponder and pray about what should be added or taken away, we'll be at the end of the wrong road before we know it.

In the scriptures it says that we are saved "After all that we can do." Yes, a very tricky thing to measure. But I'm telling you, this article explains it perfectly. Through the Atonement, Christ doesn't just make up the difference of what we can't do. He IS the difference.

And oh, I'm so very, very grateful for that.

(More of my thoughts related to this topic here and really, all over this blog...I obviously think about this a bunch.)

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