Gradually, as my children are gone during the day, I hoping to ease into having more time to blog. (Not happening yet, but I think it will here in the next couple weeks.)
As has been quite evident, this blog took a bit of a back seat this summer.
I let go of posting every day and snuggled up my children and husband more.
There came a day a couple months ago where I was sitting here on this computer writing or editing or something or other and each of my children needed something different. And I realized I had neglected my husband more than I should. My computer and this blog were getting more of me than they were that week.
And right then and there I realized that is not how I want my life to be.
I want to be with them. When I turn off my technology and look in their eyes and listen with my heart to what they are saying to me we are all so much happier. So a lot of blog posts and thoughts were put on hold.
There was this poem that hung prominently in the nursery of a neighbor I babysat for a lot growing up. I memorized it just because I saw it so much. And still to this day it rings through my mind occasionally:
As has been quite evident, this blog took a bit of a back seat this summer.
I let go of posting every day and snuggled up my children and husband more.
There came a day a couple months ago where I was sitting here on this computer writing or editing or something or other and each of my children needed something different. And I realized I had neglected my husband more than I should. My computer and this blog were getting more of me than they were that week.
And right then and there I realized that is not how I want my life to be.
I want to be with them. When I turn off my technology and look in their eyes and listen with my heart to what they are saying to me we are all so much happier. So a lot of blog posts and thoughts were put on hold.
There was this poem that hung prominently in the nursery of a neighbor I babysat for a lot growing up. I memorized it just because I saw it so much. And still to this day it rings through my mind occasionally:
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
(The whole poem is here.)
While it is true that I have no more babies that need rocking to sleep, I will always have my babies. And in my own way I will always be "rocking" them.
Some of them are now teenagers who's eyes shine bright when they come home from their own little worlds on the weekends. I want to be there to find out what happened and let my eyes shine too. Some are little girls who are dying to show me the latest dance they made up. I want to watch and not be distracted. Some need dividers for binders and homework help and fingernails clipped and help sounding out words. Others need doctor appointments and spirits lifted up and a serious explanation as to why we cannot bake cookies every day (oh wait, that's me:). Some just need me to notice they did something great...and to announce that great thing that night at dinner so their eyes can sparkle. Others just need a little hug here or there.
And I want to be the one to do it.
I LOVE Iris Krasnow who said:
"When you surrender to that fact then real balance comes, of having your soul and mind and heart in sync. ...We can never go back to the fleeting moment that constitutes our children's childhood. We only get one chance to get it right. And doing it right takes a lot of time. How we choose to spend our time is ultimately our greatest power as human beings."
(This is from her book "Surrendering to Motherhood"...more here and you can buy here
.)Raising five individual people I adore and hanging with my husband are my number ones. Keeping on track spiritually is right up there too (I've been much more diligent reading my scriptures and putting my heart there). And this crazy house we are remodeling...well, let's just say that it is a LOT more work than I could have ever dreamed.
I just think this summer I realized once again what all of us moms need to re-learn over and over and over again:
Babies don't keep.
So quiet down blog posts, dust, stay right there in that new house we have to make so many darn decisions on.
I'm rocking my babies.
And babies....and this little corner of life we are in right now...don't keep.
(unless I blog about them...then they keep in a different way...which is why I can't quit documenting...just must find a balance)
So when I'm not here for days here and there, just know I'm rocking those babies of mine.
And our eyes are sparkling together.
Unless I'm breaking up a fight or nagging them to get their darn practicing done! :)