social media/technology "trainers"

As parents we are "trainers" in so many ways.

We train our children to talk, to walk, to eat, to smile in the beginning.

We train them to say "please" and "thank you," to look adults in the eye, to build a tower with blocks, to take turns, to read, to write, to know without thinking that if you times three by five you get fifteen.

Oh the things we get to be responsible to teach and train are endless...and exciting.

But can be so daunting as well!

One of the things we must carefully train our children for in this generation is how to use technology and social media in a positive way.

My sister and I did our little Conference for Moms interview a while ago and I used a lot of questions and tips from blog readers from this post back HERE.  THANK YOU for your input!  It made me think so much about how we do things so I'm so grateful.

And today is the day that interview is posted...me, blabbing out over the internet the virtues and dangers of social media and all that comes with it.  Ha!

I watched it for the first time just now.  Oh man I don't love to watch myself on video, but there's some good food for thought on there...especially after the half-way point (I think that's when we kind of got in our groove).  Skip to about minute thirty if you want to get to the good stuff:)

Here are the things I hope listeners come away with:

1) Train by example.  Be careful not to let that cell phone of yours become an appendage ;)

How I hope my kids will remember me like this:

And not with my eyes glued to a cell phone.

2) Put off giving kids cell phones for as long as you can, and when you are ready, have your children sign a contract before you hand it over.  Have kids be involved in constructing that technology contract!

I think it's such a great idea to remember you are "training" those kids of yours to use technology in a positive way, so let them add more aps only after they are sufficiently "trained" to use them.

For example, if you feel your child is ready to start "training" for Instagram, maybe let them check their account only on your phone at first.  Or make sure they accept followers only after you have approved them.  I'd suggest even having them get your approval each time before they post anything so you can talk through things with them.  We didn't do this with our first three kids and they are just fine, but what a great way to start out with technology in a positive way!

I talked a lot about open passwords in the family and no privacy for kids in what they post from parents.  I also talked about monitoring what kids post and checking in on their phones often, but didn't really clarify that there's no chance in the world to monitor everything.  If we tried that we would drive ourselves completely crazy!  I just think it's good to check in every now and again.  Not only does it help us help our kids with a positive technology experience but it gives a lot of great discussion topics to go over with kids...because communication is so dang important.  In fact...

3) Communication is key.  That's why I love the "contract" idea.  It gives a baseline for communication and can help keep an open dialog between parents and kids about what is appropriate.

Within that communication, praise kids when they balance things well.  It's a tough job for them and let them know you're proud with how they deal with things.  When they don't do so well, sit down and talk to them face to face.  Let them know why you're worried.  Follow through with consequences! That's the only way they'll know you're serious.

4) Let kids know the big picture.  We as parents are not trying to inflict pain on them.  We are not trying to ruin their lives.  We simply care about them.  We love them.  We want them to have positive human relationships as well as a positive relationship with social media and it takes a little work and communication.  Kids need to know that technology isn't just a toy.  There are dangers and detrimental things that come from those shiny objects and we parents are trying to train them to take their own ownership in how to make all that technology a positive influence in their lives.

BE AWARE AND PREPARE.

This summer at Bear Lake I loved learning through Elle some of the things she was learning in her college summer school class (we posted a link for one of her assignments back HERE which was really interesting to think about how social media spreads).  It was kind of fascinating to listen in on an online video she was watching.  I made her rewind part of it a million times so I could write out one part in particular that caught my attention:

"This generation has grown up in the arena of "likes."  So it's no wonder that so many are turning into master manipulators of social media themselves.

Like the hidden game-masters in the "Hunger Games."

The Hunger Games could be a representation of social media today.  Social media sort of rips people apart.  They are all put into this arena where you are forced to try to survive on your own.  'Those high ratings mean sponsors.'  'To get sponsors you have to make people like you.'

Push the like button now!!  The game makers sit and watch them, but basically they are alone trying to survive.  "Do you really want to know how to survive?  You get people to like you."

In the end, that's how the "game of likes" is played.  It feels empowering and feels like a social community, but ultimately kids are in there alone, trying to live and survive."